Banquet etiquette

What a banquet is

A Chinese banquet — yan xi (宴席) — is a formal multi-course dining event for 8 or more people at a round table or long table. They're held for weddings, business deals, official welcomes, and major personal milestones. The structure is precise.

Seating

• Host sits facing the door. The 'most-honoured guest' sits opposite the host.
• Second-most-honoured guest sits to the right of the host.
• Third-most-honoured guest sits to the left of the host.
• Other guests fill in by descending importance, reading clockwise from the most-honoured.
• For business banquets the seating is sometimes finalised the day of by the host.
• A name card or place-card sometimes marks the position; otherwise the host directs.

Order of dishes

1. **Cold appetisers** — sliced meats, pickles, peanuts. 2. **Hot dishes** — typically 6–10, served in sequence. 3. **A whole-fish or whole-chicken centrepiece** mid-meal. 4. **A clear soup** before or near the end. 5. **Staple — rice or noodles** — toward the end. 6. **Sweet soup / fresh fruit** at the close.

The number of dishes is auspicious: 6, 8, 10 are good (homonyms for 'flow', 'wealth', 'completeness'). 7 is avoided (associated with funerary rites).

Toasting

The toasting structure:

1. **Host's opening toast** — to all guests, beginning of meal. The host stands and addresses everyone; everyone stands and ganbeis (drinks the full glass). 2. **Round-the-table toasts** — between dishes, individual toasts go from host to guest, guest to guest. The lower-ranking person typically initiates the toast. 3. **Closing toast** — toward the end, before the staple.

When toasting: - Stand if possible. - Hold your glass below the rim of the more senior person's glass when clinking — a gesture of respect. - *Ganbei* (干杯) means 'drink everything'; *sui yi* (随意) means 'sip what you like'. - It's polite but not required to fully empty the glass on every toast.

What to avoid

• Don't stick chopsticks vertically into rice — it mimics incense at a funeral.
• Don't tap chopsticks on the bowl — beggar's gesture.
• Don't take the last piece — leave it for ceremony.
• Don't eat or pour first — let the host lead.
• Don't refuse a glass aggressively — explain politely if you can't drink.

Pouring drinks

• The host pours first, starting with the most-honoured guest.
• Pouring for others before yourself is universal.
• When someone pours your drink, tap two fingers on the table — a gesture of thanks (the Cantonese-origin gesture; widely understood across China).

Paying

The host pays. Period. The Chinese 'fight for the bill' (抢着买单) is sometimes performative theatre between long-running friends but in a formal banquet it's clear: the host has organised, the host pays. Reciprocate by hosting next time at a comparable level.

Gift-giving at banquets

If invited to a banquet: - Bring fruit, tea, quality baked goods, or a bottle of wine/spirits. - Wedding banquets: the cash gift in a red envelope (红包 / 利是) is the standard. Auspicious amounts: ¥888 (eight is lucky), ¥666, ¥1,888. Avoid amounts containing 4 (death homonym). - Business banquets: gifts are often refused officially; tea or local-speciality gifts work as low-stakes goodwill.